running up that hill

One Two Punch

So, a couple of neat things are going on.

The first: I joined Weight Watchers. I know! So old school. But trust me, this shit works. For me, anyway. The first week was free through some trial offer, every week after that is $5. I never saw the value of paying for a weight loss program until I joined. Now I realize that the relatively small investment actually causes me to feel more committed to the whole thing. I've lost 5 pounds since joining on November 29th. I'm almost out of the 130s. My clothes are fitting better. It's great. Key factors, for me:

:)

...or not...

Well that didn't happen quite like I pictured it. I didn't at all stick with that program. I did become friends with the folks at Pure, I love that gym, I love what they're about, and I appreciate the effort they made to try to get me back into fitness. But I seriously dropped the ball.

Here's what happened that was funny, though - just a couple weeks ago. Charles said to me, "To be lovingly honest..."

Now, I don't know about you, but when someone starts a sentence with "To be lovingly honest" around me, my first instinct is to run away screaming, because I know I'm about to get hit with a hot pile of steaming honesty about myself, and I'm not necessarily going to like it.

Luckily, it wasn't too hard to take. "To be lovingly honest," he said, "for someone as out of shape as you are, getting back into fitness by trying to run is probably not your best bet. You really should think about cycling. You can go farther, you can pedal and rest, it's more fun, it's low impact, you won't hurt your knees, I think you'll like it better."

It's been a good long time since I've been on a bike, but he had an excellent point. I went on one brief ride with him that week, but his mountain bike and my ass were not made for each other.

Soon after that, I found myself in a bike shop drooling over a bicycle that I could take home and call my own. And soon after THAT, it was in the back of my car.

I love it. I LOVE MY BICYCLE. I wake up thinking about how and where I'm going to ride. I'm amazed at how easy it is for me to get across town or down to the lake or really wherever in Central Austin I want to go. I'm not that fast, and I'm not that agile yet, but Charles was 100% right. It's fun, it's fast, I get to go places and see things, my knees aren't crying out in pain, I can rest on the downhills if I need to. I love it. It's exercise, but it's not unpleasant at all. I'm sold.

So, stay with me. I'm not running up the hill so much as riding up the hill, but I'm still on the hill.

Ahahaha About that Challenge

So the good news is I haven't gained any weight. The bad news is I haven't lost any weight. Or worked out much. Or achieved badass muscle tone. SXSW came and hit me like a ton of bricks and I fell down and I couldn't get up. And then I didn't get up. What's that thing they teach you in physics? Something about an object at rest?

That's been me in a nutshell. An object at rest.

I did a nice, brisk 4K walk with a friend yesterday. I'm meeting with Beto today. I'm going to work my ass off for the next two months I SWEAR.

Wish me luck.

No Easy Button

Yesterday I really wanted to work out and couldn't find any time to do it. I was up at 5:30 in the morning, spent the early morning preparing my presentation slides, the bulk of the day at Video Camp Austin (which was GREAT), then ran to the toy store to pick up presents for my kids. Three of my five children had birthdays this weekend, the end of February is always a crazy time in my family! I went straight from Terra Toys to get the girls, then back to my house for pizza and presents with the whole family. By 8 pm, when I had a free moment, I was too tired to lift anything heavier than the remote.

Today I have all the time in the world and zero motivation, but too bad, so sad for me. I'm charging up the iPod and heading to the gym for some cardio.

I want to look forward to the gym. I don't exactly dread it, but I'm hardly jazzed up about heading over there. I think this partly has to do with me just hating the sight of my own body lately. It's especially difficult during events like yesterday, when every time I turned around there was a video or still camera pointed at me.

When you're overweight it's hard to forget it, even for a second. I wish there was an Easy Button for the extra 15 pounds I'm carrying around right now.

Devil on my Shoulder

Interval training on the treadmill? Not my favorite thing to do in the world. In fact, being at the gym surrounded by people more fit than me? Not my favorite thing either.

I think a big huge part of what keeps me from exercising is the Catch-22 of being not very fit.

Beto says: Dig deep!

And I will. Trying to push through my insecurities and that nasty little voice in my head that says "Stop. Go home. You hate this."

Shape Up

I spent a little chunk of yesterday trotting on a treadmill with a giant mask and tube affixed to my face. the tube was supplying me with oxygen and measuring all sorts of nifty things in order to figure out how efficient I am at converting said oxygen into carbon monoxide, and what my optimum heart rate is for burning fat rather than lactic acid. I think. Anyway, I felt pretty foolish and uncomfortable, but it was all for a good cause. That cause, of course, being to get me in better shape.

I've been thinking a lot about the expression "get in shape" lately, since it means for many people "make the physical outlines / contours / shape of my body more pleasing," but we also mean, in a larger sense, to become more healthy.

My physical shape, this puzzle piece of a body, isn't so bad. It's not great, either. Despite being blessed with a genetic tendency towards the slender, I've still developed that dreaded middle-aged mid-section spread. I'm self conscious about it, and do my best to camouflage it. Plenty of people refer to me as "skinny," but I'm really not.

Last July I stepped on a scale and was horrified to see a number above 140 pounds, which for my build and height is nowhere near acceptable. I'm used to hovering around 120, sometimes dipping below. Somewhere in the 120-125 range is probably where I belong, especially as I trade fat for muscle, which weighs more. I might have been more shapely at 120 pounds, but I was hardly "in shape," in the broader sense of the word. Right now I'm at 137, having lost about 7 pounds since July. I've mostly accomplished this by watching what I eat. My activity level has picked up a bit as well, but I've been hovering at this 137 mark since around November. Time for the next level.

The good news is I'm in the "good" range on the VO2 (volume of oxygen) test. I measured 32.5 VO2 Max (the higher the number, the more efficient you are at conversion). It's not an athletic number, but it shows I'm not a complete couch potato. Honestly, it felt good to have a number that wasn't "poor" or "fair" - I think that might have discouraged me.

Beto is mapping out a schedule for me to follow this month, which he promises will yield results so long as I follow it. Here's to seeing that 32.5 number go up, and that 137 number go down!

Setbacks and Ashes

I was just starting to get that swing in the air when the whole set came crashing down. Illness and a stiff neck and a little bit of drama at home threw me right into the gravel. I haven't had a solid work-out since last Friday. I'm feeling, finally, well enough today to at least get some intervals in, maybe even some upper body work. The neck and shoulder pain is lingering, but not debilitating.

Today is Ash Wednesday, one of my favorite days in the Christian calendar. It's the bluntest of days, the day when the priest reminds you that you came from the earth, and you're going back to the earth, and your time here is fleeting and precious.

I intend to make the most of it.

flickr photo by artwork_rebel

Ouch

Yesterday sucked. I woke up with a crick in my neck, which meant no yoga class for me. I didn't want the day to go by with no activity at all, so I took a mile-long walk in my neighborhood, but even that was painful. I spent the rest of the day on my couch with a heating pad and a hearty supply of ibuprofen.

This morning I hobbled outside to watch the first dozen or so marathoners race by - the route goes right past my house, at about the halfway mark. Watching those people, some of them in visible pain, pushing through their discomfort, made me more determined than ever.

Steady as she goes

Yesterday was cold and rainy, my schedule got all turned around, but mostly I just didn't feel like working out. I could have made it happen, and I chose not to.

Yesterday is also over. My friend Janet made a good point on Twitter. She doesn't have a "work out every day or else" schedule, but she also doesn't let herself have more than one day off. That seems pretty reasonable to me. I'll do my best to follow all of my trainer's instructions through this challenge, but if a day gets past me I won't let it discourage me.

So, today is Today, and I'm ready to go. Beto wanted me to do push ups and intervals on the treadmill today. For push ups, he told me to do as many as I could in 10 minutes, stopping only as long as I needed in order to do one more. My first set was 7 push ups. Every set after that was between 1 and 3. By the end of 10 minutes I had managed 42, which surprised even me.

My arms feel like dead floppy fish at the moment. I'm planning a trip to the gym later, where I'll get on the treadmill and alternate 1 minute jogging with 1 minute walking for as long as I can. Wish me luck!

If this were a fable, I would definitely be the tortoise

I want to be strong.
I want to run 10 miles without stopping.
I want to look really damn good in a bathing suit.
I want my children to look up to me.
I want to prove something to myself.
I want to have a very, very healthy heart.

And I will.